The Gay Guide to Rimming
The majority of gay men know about rimming, and many of us have experienced it already. For newcomers, here’s a rim definition, just to make sure we’re all on the same page.
"Rimming: The act of using one’s tongue on the anal rim of another person to gain and/or give sexual pleasure. It’s also known as, ass eating, salad tossing, anilingus, etc."
If you’ve rimmed or been rimmed, you’ll already know it’s a truly intimate and horny act. If you are new to rimming, this may inspire you to give it a go. This is our Gay Guide to Rimming. All sexual practices come with the chance of pleasure and of course the potential risk of an STI, before engaging in any sexual activity make sure you know the risks.
K N O W T H E H E A L T H R I S K S
If you’re getting rimmed, you’re pretty safe. Sit back and enjoy. If you’re an ass eater, your risks are greater for contracting gonorrhoea, hepatitis A, harmful amoebas, herpes, syphilis (if there’s an open sore), pinkeye, and other little gifts. Even cleaned and prepped asses can still carry these gifts, and STDs are not exclusive to rimming. Most sexual contact has the potential to transmit unwanted infections. Professionals would recommend the use of dental dams, but I have never used one and never plan to. Do what you do and accept the responsibility of getting frequent sexually transmitted infection tests. Men who have sex with men should get tested a minimum of every three months for HIV and other STIs.
C L E A N T H E A R E A
A soapy shower is usually good enough. If you feel like douching, that’s fine, as rimming can often lead to sex, but if you are sure you’re not getting boned today, then a good soapy wash is usually enough for rimming. Dry your butthole and get ready to be rimmed. Think about your manscape (hair), a shaved ass is excellent for extra sensitivity, but a hairy hole is excellent for general delicious odors. Make a choice and go for it.
Douching session. If you choose to douche, take your time.
Most guys douche. It is simply more hygenic to douche before mouth-to-ass sex, as there are some health risks associated with rimming. Don’t rush your douching regimen or you’ll have to hop in the shower again for another clean, and when someone’s mouth is at your butt and you’re trying to relax, you don’t want to accidentally release any trapped water still stuck up there - water that may or may not be clear. Douching is recommended for a long, nice rimming session - which is a great precursor to other penetrative sex. And if you want a nice long session, you might need a nice long cleaning session before it. Douche by holding water in your butt for a few seconds - anywhere from six seconds to 15 seconds is the standard recommended time, although some people go longer — before releasing it into the toilet or down the shower drain. You can do this with a squeezable bulb Best Douching Products
Overcleaning can mean cleaning too often (don’t do it every day) or too vigorously (go gentle and easy) or putting too much water in your butt without releasing it. Overdouching can disrupt the delicate environment in your rectum and colon that your body needs to healthily process waste. Pro tip: Never spend more than an hour getting ready for sex, and within that hour, take frequent breaks to massage your tummy/abdomen and make sure you release all the water. If it’s taking too long with no end in sight, call it quits and go watch Netflix (or tell him to hop in the shower — you’re giving him a rim job tonight).
F O R E P L A Y
You’ve arrived at that point in your sex play with a hot guy, or your lover, or both, and you’re ready to eat ass like a king. Sink your nose in-between his butt cheeks, and take in that awesome scent of man sex. Your tongue is ready to enjoy the feast that is the anus. But before we get there, let’s slow it down. The expectation of your lover to feel your tongue on, in, or around his hole, is a point to arrive at. Taking your time to get there could heighten his enjoyment and sensitivity. So, lick his crack, smell his skin, and use your hands to massage his butt cheeks. Get your face fully in there, hum (your favorite tune, or pop diva anthem), and make love to his derriere. Be 100% committed to this beautiful ass event. Now kiss, lick and slide your face further to your destination point. You should arrive at the butt hole and take a deep breath.
F O R T O P / A C T I V E
Pull back, enjoy the gorgeous view and breathe hot air on his ass to titillate. Lean closer in and spit on his hole, now rub it in with your nose and lick up his crack. Push your full flat tongue up against his pucker. Begin to lick and dip that tongue in as hard as you can, like eating an ice cream cone.
L E T ' S G E T D E E P E R
The tongue is a muscle, so even your hardest, firmest tongue will still feel soft and gorgeous to your lover’s butt. You can lick the rim, and use your breath and chin rubs to increase pleasure.
Bonus Tip: Use your fingers to tickle his balls, or gently push into his ass a little. Mixing it up from a little shallow fingering to further rimming is a winning combination.
If you have a beard, this can make buffing and ‘tugboating’ the ass a lot of fun. If you have stubble or three-day growth, your prickly chin is likely to irritate rather than excite. If you are clean-shaven or have a full beard, go full-on butt munching into him. If you’re scruffy, then use your nose, tongue, and lips, but leave your chin out of this.
Now let’s talk about the patch of skin between the ass and the balls. It’s got a few names: the taint, the gooch, the guiche, the disco pad, the perineum, or your scratch patch. It looks like the part of the human body where the seam is. It’s a pleasure hotspot and a nice place to explore, as you transfer from rimming to cock-worship. While sucking on his gooch, keep gently playing with his ass and get the dick good and hard. This is multi-tasking at its finest, and only the truly gifted can make it all work. We believe in you, you can do this!
You can spend a little time pleasing your man and hitting all his hot spots, but also feel free to flip it around and serve your own ass for dinner too.
F O R B O T T O M / P A S S I V E
Let’s look at serving your own butt as a delicious dish. When you arrive at the moment where he is rimming you, you have a few jobs to do. First up, enjoy it, let go, relax your butt muscles, and lean back into his mouth. Let him know when he is doing it right with moans and gentle movement. The number one turn on for a guy rimming you is to feel you push your hole into his tongue for even deeper licking. The truly talented receiver will build a butt-to-tongue rhythm pushing and clenching in time with his ravenous licking. Get it, and get it good. Then if he decides to move to your taint and start working on your dick, that’s great. If not, enjoy the rimming for as long as it’s turning you both on. After you’ve been ‘serviced’ it’s only polite to return the favor or move on to the next part of the sex. Whether that’s blow jobs, kissing, banging, or whatever else, you guys decide.
D I E T R E A L L Y I S E V E R Y T H I N G
Depending on who you ask, medical experts and others, it’s generally agreed upon that queer men are all over douching — and that douching, in general, is a widely unnecessary and even potentially harmful practice. Most enemas, hoses, and other cleaning regimens squirt too much water in your butt, water that can dry out your skin and cause other problems. Some say that a finger check is enough — if it’s clean, your good to go. Others say that if you want to clean a little on the inside, you need way less water than you think. What most people agree upon is that diet is really everything. Lean meats (not red meat), veggies, sweet fruits, and foods that don’t cause gas (cabbage, onions, broccoli) will make your hole smell and taste better, and fibrous foods will make your cleaning process quicker. Using the bathroom is your body’s natural way of cleaning out, and it’s the best way. Fiber compacts your poo and helps you release everything in your colon when you sit on the toilet. If you don’t consume enough fibrous foods, you can always take a fiber supplement. I take Metamucil every day. Fiber is incredibly good (and necessary) for healthy digestion — and having a clean ass is entirely dependent on your digestive health. If you’re prone to stomachaches, loose, watery poo, or infrequent bowel movements, or if you have a hard time getting totally clean for sex, you probably aren’t consuming enough fiber daily. Most men don’t.
C O M M U N I C A T I O N
Enjoying sex is about clear communication, but that’s not just talking, it’s about moaning, physical approval, encouragement, giving and receiving. If there’s something you don’t enjoy, stop and do something else. If you want more tongue, deeper beard brushing, or more ass fingering, don’t be afraid to say it. Giving or taking direction can help improve the whole event enormously for all participants.
Rimming is one of the most beautiful things you can do during sex. It’s that moment when your tongue is pressed up against a hot wet hole, or your ass is up against someone’s warm juicy tongue – heaven!
